“I’m going to ask you a question and then you’re going to answer me in a nice melodic fashion - okay? Now… the Buddha said the brain is on fire, WHAT is on fire?”

- A Man barely controlling his anger through gritted teeth while talking on his cell phone in the frozen foods aisle of the supermarket

” Once we do this it’s going to rock! I mean it’s all going to happen for us as soon as we do this!”

- A young Man discussing a potential project with a friend (it was pretty clear that whatever it was wasn’t going to happen)

“Excuse me, sir… can I interest you in a rousing discussion about the possible existence of aliens?”

- A Man to a stranger while both of them sat waiting to board their flight at the airport

“The guy I’m dating isn’t like ‘hot’ but he’s interesting, you know? So I don’t know… we’ll see.”

- A Woman to her friend (who was preoccupied with texting on her phone)

” I like twitter because it confirms my belief that most people are completely uninteresting and don’t have anything to say.”

- A Man to his friend while waiting to be seated at a restaurant

” I’m in the middle of a phase where I’m completely aware of how shitty things are.”

- Woman in a coffee shop

” Hold on… I think I hear a domestic disturbance… oh wait, no, nevermind, it’s just someone playing basketball.”

- A Girl on the telephone

“My brother in law made a no sugar cheesecake and it was delicious… for what it was.”

- A Woman who will never be happy

” Cocaine isn’t addictive and I should know because I’ve been doing it for years.”

- A Man to his friend in a bar

“He’s trapped in his body - so he’s a little overwhelmed.”

- A Mother explaining why her son was crying

“You use the internet? Hey, I use the internet too!”

- A Russian Man in line at an ice cream parlor

” I took so long to get ready that I got like really tired and didn’t even feel like coming tonight. But, like, you know like, I made myself look good, so I did.”

- Girl in a Bar

“You put something you saw on television in my toilet!?!”

- A Son to his mother

” You’re not a human - you’re a person. And that’s important to remember as you move through life.”

- A Father to his teenage son in a pizza parlor